Milo

So we scored a table last minute. That meant that we lost out on all of the advertising that Hobbystar Marketing and Kevin Boyd did for the con. That’s okay though, everyone and their mothers know about the Digital Kontent explosion. Any MORE advertising would just be overkill. We’ve decided to keep low-key for awhile and let the hype die down a little.

Johnboy couldn’t attend the convention because he had arranged a lunch-meeting with David Faustino and didn’t have the heart to cancel. It turns out that the meeting was actually pretty important. David Faustino really likes the work we do and expressed interest in working with us. It’s safe to say that we can all expect a David Faustino cameo on Digital Kontent in the near future.

Ibrahim met me at the studio where we grabbed our gear and headed down to the convention centre. My shoes got soaked in all the street slush that had collected because of Friday’s storm. I had smelly slush feet all day.

When we arrived at the convention centre the first person we saw was Mr. Danny Truong and his brother, J-T. This was a good thing because I arranged to pick-up off of Danny Truong at this con. He passed me the stuff and I gave him the cash. It was quick and dirty. The stuff was even better than I thought. Check it out for yourself:



JUST KIDDING!

This was the stuff I’m referring to:



The third Andy Lee piece I’ve acquired and it’s the first time I’ve purchased art from a third party. This was a rare occasion, but I was going to actually commission Andy Lee to do up a Sandman painting anyway so this worked out. Be sure to check out Danny Truong’s blog to get all the up-to-date information on how to rock.

Shane Heron moseyed along just before they started letting the paying populace in the convention room. The bastard began barking orders about getting our table ready then he fucked off for thirty minutes to pick up some coffee’s (which was bullshit because he didn’t come back with a fucking drop of coffee). Then that motherfucker said that I never gave him money, WHICH I DID. My feet were cold and I didn’t have any spare socks. The day was off to a great start.

Featured Digital Kontent writer and my girly-friend, Kathryn, swung by the con a little later. She was super sick, but still couldn’t resist the allure of another Agnes Garbowska sketch. My girlfriend is such a little trooper. Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of her from the con…I guess I’ll just do a google image search for “trooper”:



Andy Belanger showed up at like 11:30, sporting a Monster Squad t-shirt - that was when I knew I was going to buy a page from him. I found out that Andy B did the art for a comic book companion piece to the Bruce MacDonald film, “The Tracey Fragments” starring the incredibly talented Ellen Page. Although the comic was not for sale, he did have some of the original pages from the book that did have a price tag. Since I don’t buy original pages very often (almost never) I decided that it was okay to treat myself and get a page from one of my favourite artists.



I’ve owned the page for a day now and I have no regrets. It’s kinda neat to have an original art page featuring Ellen Page. I also scored an additional Ellen Page sketch from Andy B:





Cameron Stewart showed up shortly after Andy B. It was a pleasant surprise considering that he was never slated to appear. Stewart and Andy B are probably two of the coolest artists to actually talk to at these conventions. I really wanted to score a sketch of Daniel-Day Lewis’ character from the film, “There Will Be Blood” because I fucking loved that movie. Stewart, like many comic book artists, is pretty knowledgeable when it comes to films. So I decided to chance it and ask him for a sketch of Daniel Plainview, Stewart totally dug it. Check it out!!!



I asked Cameron Stewart about a lot of different films just to see what he would say and besides our conflicting views on Juno, I was pretty much on board with what he liked. Then some dude came up to him and started talking about “Funny Games”, which is a German film that is currently being remade for American cinemas by the same director. I had done a little bit of research on this movie about a month ago during its faux debut on Fantasy Moguls. After listening to Cameron Stewart and that random dude talk about the movie, I picked it up. Now I’m really looking forward to watching it sometime soon.

I also scored up a Mitch Breitweiser sketch of THE INCREDIBLE HULK!!!!!



Breitweiser was a pretty laid back dude. I heard some rumors about Marvel comics putting LOST references in their books last January and one of those books was the book Mitch Breitweiser just completed working on, “Captain America: The Chosen”. So I asked him if it was true that there were LOST references in “Captain America: The Chosen”. He had no idea what I was talking about. I must have sounded like some creepy LOST-obsessed skuzzbucket.



“WELCOME TO TORONTO! DO YOU LOVE LOST LIKE ME? CAN WE BE IN A PICTURE TOGETHER????”

As you can tell I didn’t really spend too much time at the Digital Kontent booth, but that was fine. Iby and Shane Heron did a pretty good job holding the fort down. We didn’t do so well in t-shirt sales, but from what I heard, Shane is swimming in convention dough from all the books he sold. Ibrahim lucked out too because he didn’t have to go to that lunch meeting with David Faustino. Look how happy he is, slaving away at sketches for his adoring fans:





Saif Raza also attended this convention and scored like twenty sketches…which was weird because there were only like 8 artists that attended the convention.



Since the raffle we did at the last convention was successful, we did another raffle at this show. We changed it up a little bit by letting people actually buy raffle tickets as well as getting them for free when they made any purchase at the table. We also changed it from a traditional raffle into a game where the tickets were in a coffee can and if the contestant pulled out a ticket with an X on it, they won their choice of prize from the featured prizes. We altered it because this way the winners can get their prizes immediately instead of having to wait until the end of the show. I’m still not sure which version was better, but I’m pretty sure the latest way was more profitable for us.

Here are some of the lucky winners:



Jason Truong took home a special Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan pack! He loved that delightfully sticky gum!



This dude loves the Hulk.



This dude also loves the Hulk.



This chick had a table right next to ours. She was selling little standee thingies which were super neat! She had a bunch of different characters , mostly from anime, but she did have a Bruce Campbell from Army of Darkness and a few other non-anime related standees! She picked up Digital Kontent Season 1 on dvd and scored a free winning raffle ticket. She picked up a Lego Buffy The Vampire Slayer! AWESOME!!!!


The day was almost over, but I still had not scored an Agnes Garbowska or Francis Manapul sketch. They were kind to fit me in for a quick sketch so close to the end of the show. Normally it’s just Agnes that does the cute superhero babies, but I really wanted to see what a superhero baby drawn by Francis Manapul would look like. I was able to get them to do this super awesome jam piece of Blue Beetle and Booster Gold!





This was one of the first times that I was very impressed with the dealers at the convention. There were so many trades that were 50% off of Canadian cover and some of them were even 50% off U.S. cover. I was lucky enough to pick up Identity Crisis for only 9 bucks! Then I scored a couple Eisner books I was missing at a combined cost of only twenty dollars!



This was a really awesome convention, I just wish it was a little longer because I didn’t even get a chance to hang out at the Digital Kontent booth and promote our “schwictty shwag”. Oh well, there’s always the Fan Appreciation Event to look forward to. Although, if this years Fan Appreciation Event is even close to as awesome as the last one was, I don’t think I’ll be getting any promoting done there either.



Lots of Love,

Milo

On January 15th, ING Direct announced their top 10 viral commercials for the Superstar Saver competition. With the help of all of our friends and family, Team Chicken Shirt made THE FINAL TEN!

THE LINK:

http://www.ingdirect.ca/superstarsaver/watch.html

Now, with a one in ten shot at winning the entire competition, Team Chicken Shirt needs your help more than ever!

Please Help Us!

Just click the link and find the “teamchickenshirt” entry entitled, “Saving Our Money”. It’s a bunch of dudes (and a chick) in a boardroom meeting, trying to figure out how to save their money. All you need to do is click the “thumbs up” icon next to the video. You can vote once a day so the more you vote, the more it helps us out. With your assistance we can take this whole damn thing home and then use that momentum to produce a ton of other videos. If we win this - I’m buying the beers.

HELP US WIN!

Also, if you could forward this to everyone you know…that would rock.

Saw Beowolf today. What's the deal with Angelina Jolie's mannequin breasts? The movie is only watchable in 3-D. If you don't see it in 3-D you're wasting your time. It's like going to see a laser show without lasers. The only thing enjoyable about this film is the 3-D. . . . .and Malkovich.

3 cheers for Jonny Malks!

What's everybody thinking about Messiah Complex? ... Am I the only one reading it? ...X-Men are cool...

I want more comic books and games in my life. Last Friday I went to Excalibur Comics with Shane Heron, big Franky Vee and ksong. We picked up some comics, had some free hot chocolate and played games. I kicked it off with some heads up poker versus Franks. I skewled him up - 2 times. Then we played Settlers of Catan w/ Shane Heron. Franks capitalized on 5's getting rolled and collected all the ore and wheat he needed for a city-opolis. When we met up with ksong it was time for some Jeopardy.

Excalibur Comics is having a sale where everything on the 2nd floor is U.S. price + 50% off. The deal was fantastic in the beginning. A bunch of us bought a ton of stuff. Then, after we bought everything we wanted, the deal was less good because the items left were less interesting. Jason Truong hit up the Excalibur (www.excalibur-comics.com) on the weekend and ran into a problem of finding interesting stock. Anyway, Excalibur is still a fine place to hang out. Their game room is quite and they have a huge selection of discounted games - like Jeopardy.

We get to playing Jeopardy, but one of us had to host. The game was a LOT of fun. It only cost me 5 bucks! Hopefully, they'll be up for some more Jeopardy and hot chocolate this coming Friday. If I can convince them to make this a regular thing then maybe we can set up a Digital Kontent signing upstairs on a Friday w/ free sketches from Iby and Shane. Anyone interested in playing Jeopardy against Digital Kontent? Maybe some Settlers of Catan or Poker?

PLUS WE CAN ALL TALK COMICS! ISN'T THAT THE BEST THING EVER?

I think I'm gonna start work in a week... XD I can't wait, I need the cash and I want to buy a Wii.

Lots of Love,

Milo

Last night we recorded our 32nd podcast. I think it might be one of our best episodes that doesn't rely heavily on Paulie (our sound engineer). We're going to attempt a theme week on "Kung-Fu". It's really about all martial arts movies though. We cover a lot of ground, mainly because we don't know what Kung-Fu is limited to. After the podcast we hung out and played Magic, I haven't played Magic in a long time. It was awesome I skewled up my friends by drafting R/G beats with an option to go goblins in my sideboard. My deck was super fast. BOP, llanowar elves, mox emerald and lotus petal helped out huge. My win conditions were consistently hurricane and even earthquake.

Johnboy let me take some science fiction movies home with me because he's a great guy. I grabbed Buckaroo Banzai, Repo Man and Scanners (to name a few). I don't know how many of them I'm actually going to watch, but it really helps to have more to choose from. I think I might watch Buckaroo Banzai today. I feel bad because I have barely written a thing on my second 30 Days article. Writing the articles have proven to be more of a challenge than watching the movies. I know I won't be saying that once I start work, but for now watching the movies hasn't been too hard. If anything it's more aggravating than difficult.

ALSO! FACEBOOK EXCLUSIVES FOR DIGITAL KONTENT!!!! CHECK OUT THE DIGITAL KONTENT FACEBOOK GROUP FOR MORE EXCITING INFORMATION!

Lots of Love,

Milo

I hung out with Kathryn last night. We had a pretty awesome date. We were going to play poker last night, but apparently Pirana Poker got shut down in the Uptown/Downtown region because of sketchy-ness. So our plans were RUINED! We decided that we’d head down to 1000000 Comix and buy each other a book. We hit up the comic shop where I ran into Kev the Mev from Hobbystar Marketing and he was all like, “I’m awesome.” And I was all like, “I know, Kev, you totally are.”



Kathryn bought me a copy of Grimm Fairy Tales: Return to Wonderland #4. I bought Kathryn “New Avengers: Illuminati #5”. Then we headed down to Green Mango for foodings. The Green Mango right on Bloor and Yonge, next to the Taco Bell, is currently better than Salad King. I love Salad King and I know that saying that a Green Mango has superior food is controversial, but I can’t help it – it’s true. Salad King has just plummeted in quality over the last year or so and the two times I went to this specific Green Mango I have been overly impressed by all of their food. Kudos to you, Green Mango on Bloor and Yonge (next to the Taco Bell), you have outdone yourself!

We were going to read the comics over a cup of coffee, but I’ve been having this craving for Coca-Cola lately and Kathryn didn’t want a coffee. So I bought a case of coke instead and we read the books at Kathryn’s place. Return to Wonderland was alright, it was unlike any of the books I normally read. Illuminati was great (one of the Illuminati is a SKRULL!!!!) and the banter between these iconic characters works so well. Bendis is awesome!

Today, my dad wants me to go to Galati’s and buy some gross bacon where there’s more fat and skin than meat. He’s making salt cod for dinner, which is trash, I hate that stuff. It’s so salty. I barely like fish to begin with, let alone reallllly salty cod. I might just make KD and go out early. Don’t know what I’m up for today.

I have to watch Johnny Mnemonic today for my 30 Days of Science article…joy…Why did I agree to this experiment?

- Milo

Alright, new post time! Everybody excited? I know I am.

So I'm on day 8 of my 30 Days of Science Fiction (where I watch a science fiction movie every day for 30 days straight). Day 7 was really tough, I don't remember "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" sucking THAT hard. Oh well, I'm onto "The Running Man" and I know I'm going to have a lot of fun watching that one.

Right now I'm supposed to be writing my weekly comic book review. I'm stuck...I don't know what to write about "The New Mutants 98" by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Nicieza. Hmmm, maybe I'll just change the subject to ice cream sandwiches and see if anybody notices.

FINALLY, I've also been thinking about doing a two-page newsletter of random editorials and sending it out through snail mail to people. I'd need some sort of program that lets me format things nicely. I'd do a comic strip, have a "photo of the month" and lots of user submitted trunk-junk. Subscriptions would be free for the first ten interested people and 5 buckeroo's a year to those too slow on the uptake. Maybe I could get Frank to write for it...that would be worth 5 buckeroo's a year. OH! AND THERE WOULD BE CONTESTS. I should totally do this. WHO'S WITH ME?!?!?!

Lots of Love,

Milo

You Are A Hornbeam Tree

You are a reserved person, looking in from the outside. Naturally attractive, you take good care of your looks. You are not egoistic, and you make life as comfortable as possible. You look for kindness in others - though you are seldom happy with yourself. A bit mistrusting and unsure, you dream of being swept away by someone unusual.

Alright guys, this MIGHT BE my last postestestes ever. I know, some of you are going to take this really hard. I'm looking at you, System, but you'll need to get over it, man!

Here's the scoop: I just got into www.myspace.com and it's the absolute awesomeness! Just go to www.myspace.com/milodagreat to see my profile and add me there! My updates on myspace will be a LOT more frequent, I assure you.

SIDENOTE: check out this site www.songstowearpantsto.com THE GUY MAKES UP SONGS ON REQUESTS! SOOOO FUNNY. There's a lot of gags with people sending him lyrics to songs THEY wrote with spelling mistakes, then he sings the songs with the spelling mistakes still present...needless to say, hilarity ensues.

TTYL FOREVER!!! :(

- Milo Da Gone

p.s. I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause. </td> Batman, the Dark Knight 79% The Amazing Spider-Man 67% Neo, the "One" 63% Lara Croft 63% El Zorro 50% Maximus 42% Indiana Jones 42% James Bond, Agent 007 42% Captain Jack Sparrow 38% William Wallace 33% The Terminator 29% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

Hiya!

Well, here's another exerpt from my past. This happens after the last memory, but I may not continue to do it this way. I skipped over a couple things I wanted to talk about, but if Ian and Amanda don't mind - I'll go back and tell those stories another time. Just to warn you, this story is a little more explicit and ... terrible than the last, but it happened a long time ago and I've changed a lot since...

HERE IT IS!!!:


Most people deal with their budding love lives in high school. The awkward stages of asking girls for dates, the embarrassment and shame of being rejected and the envy of the charismatic and handsome guys who always had their Fridays filled to the top with vaginal juices are all components of a high school students career. When I started grade seven in Hilltop Middle School I made a pact with Justin McAdam, a friend who lived in the same building as I did, that we would get girlfriends and we would get our piece of the “apple-poon-pie”. I had already been masturbating since grade six (why am I even telling all of you this?) and ever since my previous experience with pornography I was heavily into my father’s stash, which consisted of a Playboy and a couple issues of Hustler.

During middle school I went through a lot of drama that built my character and personality into what I am. Between the grades of six and eight I attended Hilltop Middle School, fortunately. It was in grade six when my interest in non-pornographic girls became actualized. Sure I checked out my fair share of “T and A”, but when it came to girls my age I was not enthusiastic until I had a fair selection. Seeing a couple very attractive girls gave me the motivation to start asking for dates. After a couple rejections and a couple ‘maybes’ I learned to respect escapism. It was not that I was extraordinarily ugly, out of shape or socially inept. I can look at old pictures of myself and see a cute kid or remember a few friends I had that I could talk to about whatever entices a child to talk to another. The reason I may have been overlooked when I was asking for dates at that time of my life was probably because a lot of kids that age are not ready for that sort of thing. The fact that I was not extraordinarily attractive, popular or interesting was also part of the problem.

Dealing with these problems could be a novel on its own, but for fear of trailing off I will only state that I had called and asked out half of my grade by the end of my time in middle school. By the luck of odds, I managed to date a couple really nice girls who have, I can only assume, grown into even more impressive people now than they were children then. This is not to say I did not receive criticism from other students my age at this point. By the time I was in grade eight I had burned a lot of bridges by calling every acceptably attractive girl in my school. Many were left burnt; while very few were barely rebuilt. Word had gotten out to a lot of the other guys in school and it made me look like a joke to a lot of my friends from elementary school. They were too busy being popular and playing ‘street basketball’ to realize the lengths I was going to in order to find a girlfriend plus they may not have really understood why it was so important to me at the time.

Since I had a lot of problems at school with people my age, I really only hung out with a friend of mine who had recently moved into my building. Justin had influenced me in a way that all other people to that point had not. Justin regularly acted without reason or intelligence. It was very clear and obvious that Justin was a bully, he regularly attacked kids much younger than he was and always had destruction on his mind. Much like my earlier friend, Shane Colette, Justin enjoyed breaking things and hurting people. Although, Justin liked to keep these primal rages of his away from his few friends and grandmother (who acted as his guardian). Instead of breaking his belongings in fits of rage, he instead would go outside to find something that wasn’t his or someone who he didn’t know and attack them (as long as they were smaller than him, of course).

Unfortunately, what I'm saying makes him look very bad, which is not the case, he was not a terrible person...there were just these things that he did that could be classified as terrible...alright, so he was terrible, fine, but for some reason we still got along. Justin and I may have gotten along because he had trouble getting people to like him and I had this problem where I just liked everyone. Justin and me would get together regularly and do everything from making crank calls to throwing random things off of his balcony onto unsuspecting cars below. Boys around the age of thirteen are naturally troublesome, they light fires that spread through dry grass, they steal from stores and they get into fights. As much as I would like to run through stories about such mischief I shall save you of it. Everyone has been through these things and as amusing as they are it is unimportant because it is so common amongst us, when we are children.

The best thing Justin ever gave me was the courage and determination I so needed as a child. I cannot pinpoint it, but somewhere in my life I became shy and uncertain about myself. Justin forced it upon me to keep calling girls, even if I had been rejected time after time, the important thing was that I kept trying and he would be in the room with me, supporting me every step of the way. That is why I regard him so highly, he did something for me that not even my parents could. Justin was the sole reason I believed in myself and had enough faith to think I was capable of getting laid. The reason for his actions does not matter, he could very possibly have thought that he could network through me to meet the girls in my school. What is important is that he never stabbed me in the back to get to a girl and he supported me when someone made me feel like shit. He was always a good friend to me and I would feel greedy to have asked more of him.

Justin and myself were talking smack in my room one Sunday night and I received a phone call from a girl who I had never talked to in my life. She told me that I looked like Kurt Cobain and she wanted to do me. It was as though a genie intercepted my prayers to God and actually made them happen. I did not care what this girl looked like or who she was. She wanted to do me and that was good enough. Justin perked up when he heard she had a friend. From that day forward I was dating Lisa, an overweight chick who was a year younger than me and loved Nirvana. Despite her love for the Seattle grunge, she still dressed like a spoiled rich kid by wearing black make-up and really expensive ‘Goth’ clothes that she used her mothers credit cards to buy. As lame as it sounds now, it was still new to me when I was in the eighth grade and I dug it.

I started to hang out with Lisa’s friends, of which she had a lot. Evidently, Lisa was very popular and as her boyfriend I was able to suck it all up. Sure everyone was a year younger than I was and as big of a deal as that was in middle school, I was able to deal with it. I finally got what I wanted for the past three years. Sure her body looked nothing like the ones I dreamt about from the pornography I had seen, but my imagination was vast and I was not beyond pretending that I was actually having sex with a better looking individual than Lisa. As strange as it sounds, we fell into a relationship based primarily on sex. For a fourteen and thirteen year old it is understandably strange. Our parents drove us to see one another and we were given far too much privacy. Every time that we were alone we would take it as an opportunity to have sex and it felt really good.

We were always all about safe sex. I was not about to impregnate her at our age, I had thought about something like that eventually happening, but I felt secure in the contraceptives we were using that nothing would go wrong. Ultimately, I learned my lesson. She told me she was pregnant when I was talking to her on the phone one evening and I responded with an inconsiderate reaction. At that point I needed to escape the relationship, so I broke up with her immediately. She was shocked to see me cowardly run from my problems and eventually worked it out herself. I am unsure what truly happened, but to the best of my knowledge she asked her legitimate father (she lived with her mother and her stepfather) to take her to have it aborted and he did so without telling her mother. Lisa’s relationship with her legitimate father was so impersonal that this could have easily been done without awkwardness*.

* = Recalling on this memory is even hard for me to comprehend, but I am assured in this by notes I still have from grade eight, when it had happened.

After Lisa had went through the ordeal we saw one another, sexually, again. Nothing was the same and the guilt of doing what I had done when I found out she was pregnant has stuck to me ever since. When I think back to this event in my life, I do not know why I did what I did. If it happened to me on this day I still do not know how I would react, but it would not be the same way I did when I was fourteen. Even though I would act differently now, it does not mean that I regret what I did to Lisa all those years ago. It was a shitty deal on both sides, but I think that if I had acted any other way I would have bitten off more than I could have chewed. It was a cowardly thing, what I had done, but saying that I would change it would change too much of my life after that event, which I would not want. My life has had its fair share of problems, but overall it is one that I would not change for the world. If I acted differently in that situation I think that my entire life would be changed, I might have had a child which would have restricted me from so much, while giving me a whole new perspective on life when raising it. If I had taken responsibility in that case I may have been more accepting of responsibility as my life went on and who knows where that may have led. In the end I am not glad at what I did in that situation, but I would not have it any other way.

It was safe to say that Justin was behind me when I did break up with Lisa. It was my decision and he respected it, even if he was the only one. That year when I celebrated my birthday, I introduced Justin to a friend of mine who he promptly began seeing, romantically. A series of mishaps and delinquencies occurred shortly after, he had fought with her regularly and although they seemingly loved one another, they could not get their relationship in order. Justin ended up moving away after their relationship crumbled and he feared for his life because of the girl’s new boyfriend(s). Without Justin it was harder for me to meet girls. He visited often, but it was hard not having him always next to me, supporting me when I did not believe in myself. After grade eight I went to the high school that was a mere parking lot away from my middle school. I went into it thinking I would never meet anyone, I barely had any friends, I had no girlfriend, but fortunately enough I was a slim kid, who was not terrible unattractive and had low standards.



- Milo

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
( my answers )

hey, hey.

I haven't updated in awhile and I want to get back into the habit.

My life has not been exciting in the least. The closest thing to excitement is that I have a 1 in a thousand chance of being in a reality show. I filled out the online application for a remodeling show hosted by Debbie Travis and I got an e-mail asking me to call them. I called in and had a ten minute phone interview - I was told that they would get back to me if they liked me. Several minutes later I recieved another phone call asking me to come in for an interview. I made it to the final thousand, which is good, but once they meet me I'm toast - im sure of it.

Anyway, I'll be posting stories of my childhood on here now. These are stories that I've wanted to share with you guys, but I never get the chance. I love reading and writing long journal entries and i know Ian and Amanda will humour me by glancing it over.

If I continue to write down more of my life stories I'll compile them all and make a book for myself, just in case I forget one day, so if you guys like it and want to read more you will actually be helping me preserve my childhood. Thanks.




MY LIFE PRIOR TO HIGH SCHOOL:


The building I grew up in had a small area of woods in the front and in the back. The larger front woods seemed like a forest to me when I was a child. Those woods were the most secluded place I had ever known, even though the balcony to my eighth floor apartment was directly facing them. During the winter you could see through all the trees because the branches were bare, but in the summer the trees were filled with leaves and the forest’s secrets were kept from the onlookers that watched from their balconies like voyeuristic deadbeats (my father included). At age fourteen I would later use my sling shot to launch marbles off my balcony at God knows what, with my parents permission, so it is possible that I could be labeled something worse than a ‘voyeuristic deadbeat’ (more on causing mischief later).

The woods in front of my building were right next to the swimming pool and small lounge area, where all of us would play in the summer. When I was 12, things were so much more innocent, as cliched as it sounds. We only cared about being the first one in the pool that summer or being able to hang out outside all day and play cards by the pool with guys and girls alike. This was before every female friend had the potential to be more. This was a time before everything said and done had ulterior motives. We just happily ran around the pool, playing “Marco Polo” followed by “Who can jump in a really weird way into the pool”. We would stop for a pee break in the woods (pretending we never did it in the pool water), then back to the swimming pool for a game of “I can stand on my head underwater” or “Splash fight”.

There was a small convenience store inside another building that shared the same estate ours, for some reason this convenience store was called “The Tuck Shop”. Many of my friends thought this meant it was alright to steal from it or ‘tuck’ stuff under your shirt, but this was not grocery shopping with your parents at Knob Hill Farms, this was a legitimate convenience store. Some of my best memories are buying bags of chips from the “Tuck Shop” and using the rub-off tattoo’s inside, losing it eventually in the swimming pool. I remember the guy who ran the store did not like me very much because he used to kick me out, saying that I stole from him before. Maybe it was just because I looked like another delinquent child that DID steal from him. At the time the building was filled with primarily Polish people and I could pass for Polish, so that may have had something to do with it. That and I stole from him.

My very first experience with pornography came around the fourth grade. I hung out with one of the few non-Polish kids in the building, his name was Shane Colette. I used to go to his place to listen to Guns N Roses or sometimes I would just listen to him call his mother a “Fat bitch for getting a divorce with his father!” Either way it made my life more interesting. In our short time as friends we had one great time together. It was the summer and we were swimming in the pool, when we saw a group of the older Polish kids talking. One of them called us over to see something, it turned out he was holding a filthy, pornographic magazine; the first one I ever saw. He went on to tell the group that him and his friends had a club in the woods where they shared stacks of these magazines. Shane’s eyes lit up and I knew what he was thinking.

The next week was spent waking up early and heading into the woods to find a mystery stack of pornography. We searched everywhere, I mean EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE. It took us a couple days, but eventually we found it in a giant garbage bag underneath a pile of leaves. The dumb kid was right, there was a stack of pornographic magazines that he was sharing with his “club” and now Shane and myself could steal them! I remember Shane wanting to carry most of them himself. I also remember how he looked carrying a ridiculous stack of pornography that was about a foot and a half in height. The superintendent caught us just as we were going into the building with our impressive stack of deviance. Thoughts raced through my head about how much shit I would be in because of this explicit material. When the superintendent asked what we were doing Shane answered something along the lines of, “Look at all this porn!” The superintendent quickly looked through the top couple magazines, picked his favorite, held it under his arm, and let us be on our way.

Even when I was young, I could tell Shane had a lot of emotional problems because he used to break a lot of stuff in his house and unleash a growing angst for everything that stood in his path, even if it was his mother or his dog. This made me afraid of him and we did not hang out for very long, but we would always have our adventure for pornography story. That was something we shared, no matter how mad he could ever get, that was one thing he could not beat up…because it is a memory…not something comparable to material. If you could beat up memories then we would all have internal bleeding in our minds.

THE END – tune in next time for my ‘first’ time.

p.s. This story was allll over the place and I assure you the next one may or may not be similar.

Hey, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and copy that thing that Amanda copied from System...Cool?

For those of you who don't know about it -

I love all of you, please post the bestest memory of a time we shared so that it can be remembered and loved by everyone who reads LJ. Even if we never talk, post something anyway because if you don't post anything...well, let's just say it will be in your interests TO post.

I'm gonna be pissed if I'm the only one who responds to this...lol

- Milo

This is the suck!

I'm sitting here on the computer, trying to get out of going to my second class tonight, but everyone has responsibilities...like suckers...*cries*...I just wanted to smoke pot around 5 today dammit...then maybe see Aviator or something that's gonna be in the Oscars, but "NooOoOooOoooO!"

I talked to Dave Castrodale last night and it looks like I'm going to be hanging out with him and Catlin soon. That should be eventful. I was told she through a fit when Castrodale didn't give her my new phone number and when he gave her my e-mail she never used it. If Catlin starts fucking with my mind again someone had best stop it...I'm looking at you Dan...right at you...

Whatelse is going on? I haven't done a real update in a long while...if anyone has anything to say to me, just drop me a line. Also, Gomes made me a forum so I might stop using livejournal and just post randomness in my new forum...tell me what you think.

- Milo Da Sad (you should all know why)

Alright, I've given up the rockstar idea, I spoke to my agent and she said I should explore bigger fields since music is a dying fad. She made a strong case for me to get into filmmaking, which is what I plan on doing next. My first feature will be called "WTF???!!!11two - The Movie" I know what you're thinking, that could never be made into a film, but just hear me out and open your minds. I'll throw a quick transcript of the trailer your way so you people will be able to judge for yourselves.

"WTF???!!!11two - The Movie" the trailer

(A young boy is sitting in the backyard, in a sandbox, playing with his toy train. A shadow of a dark cloud comes overhead. His mother comes outside to take the laundry off the clothesline.)

Mother: It looks like it's gonna rain, hunny, it's best you come inside before it storms.
Boy: My train lost it's wheel!
Mother: Even still, come inside now and I'll let you stay up late with mommy.

(Thunder shakes the background. There is a close-up of the mother who is looking into the sky.)

Mother: What...the...fuck?

(There is a shot of two main streets packed with cars. The people inside the cars are all looking up into the sky.)

Guy in car: AHHHHH, JESUS CHRIST! THAT'S NOT RAIN! WHAT THE FUCK?

(Large droplets of syrup begin falling from the sky and everyone freaks out. Cut to a tv in a store window, where a broadcaster is talking about the syrup rain.)

Newscaster: In a strange turn of events; syrup has officially replaced rain water...OFFICIALLY...that's right I have heard it from the people that run this station...they have officially stated that rain water is no more.

(Cut to a lady who is talking to her twenty-something, highly intelligent son on the phone.)

Lady: How is it over there?
20 Something: Well, it is raining syrup now.
Lady: And how is that?
20 Something: Sticky, real sticky. How's dad?
Lady: Oh, your father stopped existing.
20 Something: He died?
Lady: Nope, he just kinda...stopped existing...
20 Something: That doesn't upset you? He was your husband of thirty years!
Lady: Actually I feel like eating a brick...that's odd, isn't it?
20 Something: What the fuck?

(Some guy is running down the street naked in the syrup rain and then a giant robot steps out from behind this really big bush. The robot is made of steel and looks highly advanced, but is dressed up like a football player.)

Robot: HUT!
Naked Dude: WHAT THE FUCK?

(The highly intelligent, 20-something is talking to a half naked barbarian chick, who happens to have a dagger in her mouth and not a lot of clothes on.)

20 Something: I've only known you for the last seven hours, but I already know there is nobody else in the world for me. It might have been how you disassembled the team of giant, football playing robots or how you stopped the vicious ninja's by solving the secret of the unforgotten delogical flat mountain, but it was probably...(catches something from the corner of his eye)WHAT THE FUCK...ZERG RUSH!!!!

(BLACK SCREEN)

(Then the text comes up "SUMMER 2020" the text is white and dripping with syrup.)

Let me know what you guys think!

Hey, you know when you're at a concert or see a concert portrayed in like a tv show or movie and you hear a loud scream and some hard, steady, slow drums in the background and the lead singer of the concert appears in some sort of mist or smoke and then the lights hit them and then the band will start playing their new single or whatever? I wish that could be me. I don't want anything to do with the music industry, like playing an instrument or singing or anything. Although, I do want to come out on a stage filled with smoke to a steady beat and a pre-recorded track of me screaming. That would be the bee's knees.

Just picture it, me with platinum blonde hair going all the way down my back, wearing a skin tight leather outfit with pieces cut out for my nipples and butt and maybe some huge ass boots with those curly toes (for mystery). I'd be holding a guitar that looked like a battle axe, complete with dripping human blood (it's actually pig blood, shhhh) and then I'd be all like "Wikkida, Wikkida, WAHHHHH" and the audience would go absolutely ape shit.

Some songs would then be played.

After every song I would get a new guitar pick, even though my battle axe guitar could not be played by a mortal man (including me). The old guitar picks would be given to the sexy girls at my show because they'd all want a piece of me, except I'd be married to a European supermodel so the groupie chicks would have to deal with just getting some guitar picks in exchange for the blow jobs I'd receive in the tour bus.

Oh man, the TOURS...those would be awesome too. We'd kick it off by touring Japan, to make a name for ourselves. My bands name would have to be something like "Deus Ex Machina", but the Japanese would call us "Curly Shoe Metal Band" on the count of my curly shoes and the type of music we'd play. We'd go to the United States, after we milked Japan dry, and tour there for awhile. The key to touring in the States is to only tour in places you want to go to. For example, California is a place I would like to visit, therefore it would be a good place to tour. In contrast, Idaho is a place that seems like "the bore", so coincidently "Deus Ex Machina" would not be touring there.

After we selectively tour the United States we would need to put out an album, our fans would deserve one after supporting us through our good times and not-so-good times. The first album would have to be contreversial and raise the bar of the entire industry. Of course, I would have nothing to do with the album's actual music, we could pay another band to do the work that was 'below' us. The cover of the album is where the creativity is allowed to take control. The cover of this album would need to grasp everyone's attention, it would need to grab a four-year old girl by the balls as well as her grandfather...and his balls. There is only one thing that can grab as many balls as "Deus Ex Machina" would want, and that is...DRAGONS!

So the cover would be me, rocking out, and then there would be like three dragons behind me, breathing fire and acting awesome. People would know I rocked with the dragons and they would have to respect that. The back of the album would also be pretty sweet because it would show a more relaxed version of me. I could picture it now, it would be me, still in my leather jumpsuit (it's a jumpsuit now) and I'd be driving some kick-ass, remodled pick-up truck with a spray-painted picture on the side of a barbarian woman, scantily clothed with a dagger in her teeth. In the back of the pick-up would be the dragons, still rocking out, like only dragons can do.

Tickets for our Japan show should be available by SUMMER 2005, watch for it!

- Milo

p.s. RESPECT the dragons!

Miss me?

If you asked me what I've done in the past few days I'd draw a blank. I asked myself that question just now and all I get are highly erotic masturbation flashbacks. Some people ask me, "Milo, why does everyone of your journal updates deal with masturbation?" and I say, "Grandma, you've been dead for 3 years now, stop talking to me."

I wrote the ending to Paintball Season 2, but its not very funny. I mean I like it, but its just not very funny. The main problem is that I wrote the ENDING, but there is a space missing between the last part I wrote and the ending. Things are unexplained. So before I send out the ending, I need to write and send out the connector piece. Since the connector piece is low on action I get the opportunity to write something funny. Hopefully I can pull it off and not disappoint my fan (Frazer).

If you want to see sexy pictures of me just go to http://www.realpics.net/profile.php?User=MiloDaGreat copy/paste that bad boy. Frazer is on there too, there's a link to him on my friends list.

Ohhhh! Another thing! I was watching some home videos from like grade 11 and wow...I had no idea how much I've changed...and Frazer has changed and everyone has changed. I'm not just talking about putting on weight here. I'm talking about how much OLDER I look. I used to be a cute kid, now I look like a man who is trying to still look young and 'with it'. Man, I wish I was still with it. I think I could write a song about that.

"STAYING WITH IT" By: King Milo of The Communist Republic of Zen

- SLOW -
I used to be a young man
I used to keep my shit real
but now that I'm old
I have lost my young feel.

- FAST -
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX

- SLOW -
I've gained some more weight
and lost some of my hair
My butt got real flabby
and I grew a nice pair.

- FAST -
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX

- SLOW -
The kids see me now
and they laugh til they drop
Their young, youthful minds
deserve to be popped.

- FAST -
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX
ANAL SEX

I will always lovvvvve...ANAL SEX!

***END***

Let me know what you guys think!

Tonight's the night of the BIG party...I can't help but be a little scared.

This is gonna be my first time doing acid and I hope I don't freak out. This will probably be the last time I ever do any hard drug (I'll still keep it up with the alcohol and pot). One last hurrah for Milo, then I am finished. What I think I'm really scared about is not coming back once I take the acid...I like the way I think, I just want to think differently for a short period of time. I don't want to be permanently insane. Also, if I have a bad trip, I don't want to do anything that will end up being harmful to myself or my friends...I really hope that doesn't happen.

I'm sure that I am worrying about nothing. I did my research and I am going to be fine.

I hope everyone has the Happiest New Year EVER! CHEERS!

- Milo

Man, its fucking cold out today...I mean yesterday...

I was supposed to go out to Square One today with Frazer "King of the Gooch" Howell and Saif "King of the Saucy" Raza. On the count of the cold we all stayed in...or at least I stayed in. I've been on the computer ALL day today and I've done quite a bit, let me tell you of my internet findings.

I kick-started today with a little of the ole masturbation. Then I installed "Serious Sam" because I was bored and it was like after noon, sometime, so I thought I'd have some spare time to play a new game. Serious Sam is really kick ass. The problem is that the game consists of shooting screaming headless people who are rushing you and that is really all the game consists of. It gets repetative if you don't have the patience of a rock (like I do). I played through half of the game and then decided to take a little break.

My mom then told me I had to make a Beatles CD for some guy who met my parents somewhere in the building. He's a nice guy, he came over to drill some holes and install a mirror/coat rack thing, which he sold us, I don't pay much attention; the installation could have came with the purchase. Anyway, I went to Kazaa (ONLY BECAUSE SUPRNOVA.ORG IS GONE FOREVER!!!) and downloaded each Beatles song seperatly, like a fucking chump. I gave my mother the cd in exchange for a blackforest ham sandwich with two different types of cheese. The first cheese looked stinky, but smelled nice. The second cheese had holes in it and looked fun, but it stunk something fierce.

I ate my sandwich and drank orange crush while I talked to Tom DaSilva and some other good people on MSN. Once the sandwich was done, it was time to get down to some serious business...Serious Sam style. The rest of Serious Sam was too difficult for me to beat in one sitting. It only took one death for me to seek help from "www.cheatcc.com", a good source for cheat codes and ugly frames. The entire game took me like a total of five hours to beat. It was actually a lot of fun and I'd recommend it only to people who do not get bored easily.

After the gaming I decided to get down to work and do some research...on LSD. Peter showed me a really solid website that had a lot of information on LSD and even "Trip Reports" written by people who tried out acid for the first time. It seems that acid is not as groundshakingly dangerous as I originally thought. Acid still scares me, but now I feel like I am informed enough about it to know what to expect. When the acid research became a little tiring I checked out leenks.com to see what was new and found a link to a website that bashed Wal-Mart and had crank calls committed by people who worked at Wal-Mart. Then there was a link on that site that took me to a website where this guy explained how to hack the phone machines at Wal-Mart so you could talk on the announcement system. Then I found a link from there that took me to another site, this time it was a site about the electrical security devices on store products.

The site that hosted that article also hosted an artical about electrical tasers and I read about that, which took me to another site that taught me about the bodies nervous system and the electrical impulses that are tampered with by the taser. So I read about the human body and its nervous system for a while, but that just left me with more questions than when I started!

I googled up an essay about free will that briefly dealt with the electrical impulses of the nervous system and that left me happy, still confused, but at least happy.

Happy enough to masturbate twice in one day.

THE END!

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